update

Someday I will get caught up on this blog. I will put down my thoughts, feelings, emotions about Dan. For now it will probably just be bits and pieces.

First of all, I cant believe all of the love and support we have received from family, friends, and people we dont even know. Dan blessed a lot of lives, and I am happy to call myself his mommy. Man I miss him so much. This is so hard. I dont know how people do this. I wouldnt wish this upon my worst enemy, if I had one. I cant wait to hold him again in my arms someday, because this is torture. Its almost been 2 weeks already since Dan left us. I remember it like it was just today. I will blog about that another time.

The day after Dan's Celebration of Life, Tyler and I ran away to St George for a couple days. It was nice to get away. But it was almost boring. I love sitting by the pool and being in the sunshine, but I felt lazy. I just wanted to be taking care of Dan or holding him or anything with him. I even felt guilty going, knowing we would be far away from the cemetery for a couple days. It was weird. Tyler and I did have a good time though. We watched (I slept through) Harry Potter, The Green Hornet and I am Number 4. We went and saw Thor (which is awesome and the guy that plays Thor is pretty hot) We also drove down to Mesquite and went bowling (I bowled a 140) :)   and we played some slot machines. Spent more on bowling then we did on the slots. lol. It was a good little trip but we sure missed Dan the whole time. I even packed some pictures of Dan to keep at our bedside. :) We only had him for 5 weeks, I cant imagine how much harder it would be for someone who lost an older child. Any age is awful.

On a different note, blood platelets are doing..,, alright. The hematologist and my OB both brought up the option of having my spleen removed. Hah. Thats the last thing I want to deal with. But apparently my blood platelet issue during pregnancy would be 'no more' if I had it removed. We're not going to do anything with my spleen as far as Im concerned. Ill just keep going with the prednisone. I should be off of it completely by my birthday. What a good b-day present! (depending on how my next bloodwork goes)

Memorial Day was so different this year. Emotions and weather were crazy. It rained, snowed, and was sunny while we were at the cemetery visiting Dan. We took Dan some white daisies, with a blue ribbon. Tylers parents brought Dan some fun toys that you would play with in the sand. My mom brought Dan a guardian angel kitty charm and some pretty purple iris flowers, and Aunt Chelsie and Uncle Nash took Dan some flowers too. There was also a teddy bear there for him, not sure who gave him that. Also there were all the flowers from the service there so there were still a lot. (those ones were kinda dying)      :(   I think Grandpa Mark got Dan those balloons too.

Today Tyler hung a lot of pictures of Dan in our home. It is nice to see his beautiful face in almost every room. He even hung pictures downstairs. After we painted and got our carpet in down there I kinda stopped decorating down there. So it will be something for me to do down there while Im at home- finish decorating down there.

After Dan's Celebration on May 19, we all went to the cemetery and after Tyler dedicated his grave we had everyone write a message to Dan on a balloon and then we all let go at the same time and sent them up to heaven for him. I read about doing this in a bereavement package and Aunt Chelsie and Uncle Nash made it happen and got all the balloons for us. Thanks guys :) It was perfect. I still get teary eyed from when my dad showed me his balloon. It said "We will go fishing Daniel" -Love Grandpa Dan. I wish so badly Dan was here to go fishing with Grandpa Dan. But they will make it out fishing someday, and they will catch a huge catfish.