Lately...

Lately, we have been doing okay. Not good, not great, but okay. We have good days and bad days. Life is hard. But we are OKAY. I can feel the peacefulness of Dan's spirit in my home, and at the cemetery. Dan's nursery has been untouched. There are bibs, burp clothes and onesies in there. Some have his spitup on them, and some have some formula on them. Sometimes I think I will go in there and organize things, but then I pick something up and just set it back down. Everything is in that room. His car seat, stroller, ocean wonders play gym, the swing. We have pictures of Dan hung all around our house. I hope it doesn't make guests sad seeing the pictures. Sometimes I get sad when I look at them, but mostly think how beautiful he is and how lucky I am to be his mom. (and how i miss him) I have a picture of Dan at my bedside that I kiss goodnight everynight, and thats usually when the tears come. I miss waking up with Dan and feeding him. Playing with him. Simply just sitting there with him. I know how hard it was to wake up in the middle of the night/early morning. But I miss it.

I held a baby last night, a 10 day old little girl. She was precious. So darling. I held her first, and then Tyler held her for a bit. She started to get fussy so he gave her back to me. I felt like she knew I was sad, and that she shouldnt cry when I was holding her, I cant explain it. But it was nice.

I dont know what I would do without my friends and family. I know not everyone knows what to say to us, and thats fine. Its just good to know that people are still thinking about us.

Anyways, last night Tyler and I painted our front door! We decided to do a fun color so we chose Cranberry Red. It looks awesome, we really like it. We also put a kick plate brass thingy on it to help cover where we sanded the brown rust spot off. I love it!

Lake Powell 2011 trip is coming up soon too. Looking forward to that SOOOO much. I love Lake Powell! Its always a nice get away with family and friends. In the end of Sept we are going to do vacation - celebrating our 5 year anniversary by going on a 9 day Mexican cruise. Looking forward to that too! We got a killer deal on our airfare, so we had to do it.

I've gone back to work, I work 2 days a week now. July will be crazy with people going on vacation though, so I will have more hours in July. So thats something to look forward to, too!

Lauren and I took a cake decorating class at a local Craft store. That was really fun. It was my birthday present from her. I am 25 now! old, i know. lol. My birthday was on a Sunday, so on the next Saturday Tyler took me to Cheesecake factory and then we went to a Real game. I had a good birthday!

Here's a few pics

saying goodbye to our exchange student Matxalen

the cake I made! :) haha

Dan's grave with all of his fun toys :)

Our newly painted front door! :)